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Writer's pictureKaryn Ross

Unkind Leaders Create a Vicious Circle of Fear

“If people weren’t afraid of being treated unkindly (especially by their leaders) they wouldn’t feel fear.” And, “When people are afraid, they are more likely to act, speak and think unkindly.” 

- Karyn Ross 


The Vicious Circle of Fear is a key concept of my book, The Kind Leader: A Practical Guide to Eliminating Fear, Creating Trust and Leading with Kindness, which I wrote in 2021 as I reflected on the increasing unkindness and fear experienced between 2016 and 2020. 


As we experience a change of leadership in the United States, I’d like to remind people that fear leads to unkindness as people focus on and try to protect themselves…and that unkindness leads to fear. When leaders model, encourage and accept unkind words and actions, the cycle is amplified, because their words, actions and reactions spread quickly and are repeated over and over again. 


The antidote to the Vicious Circle of Fear, and to stop the cycle of fear…unkindness…fear…unkindness… is kindness: Not speaking unkindly to others (and yourself). Not acting in ways that create fear in others. Thinking of how your words and actions will affect others…and making choices of how to act and react to not cause fear. 


Today, and every day, you have a choice…a personal choice (regardless of political conditions and models) to act in ways that don’t make others live in fear. At work, at home and in your community. Working together, each of us has the opportunity to choose to lead with kindness. 


I ask you today to join me in making that choice. Because it will make your little piece of this country and world better for all of us. 


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