Are you a leader wondering why your office culture if toxic? If you are, please look first at yourself and why you are "allowing" people to act in toxic ways!
Many years ago, a newer coaching client who owns a very large dental practice was lamenting about the negative effects that office gossip was having on their organization's culture. "When people are constantly coming to me complaining about other people, it really causes a problem in the office."
Interestingly, one of the things that I had noticed in our coaching sessions, was that they often complained about team members in their practice! So I asked the owner if they had noticed what I did...their tendency to "gossip" to me about team members.
There was a shocked silence.
Then a moment of reflection.
Then my client said, "You are absolutely right. I do. And my team is learning how to gossip from me. They are simply 'doing what I do' and 'saying what I say' in the way that I say it. I expect gossiping because it just seems inevitable in a practice as large as ours! To stop others from gossiping, I first need to stop gossiping myself. Then I need to communicate to the whole team that gossiping won't be tolerated from anyone! Including me!"
Years later, team members are still not allowed to engage in gossip. When they join the practice they are taught how to talk about gaps to Targets in processes. And that they cannot start a sentence with another team member's name first...unless it is to compliment someone on a job well done! They've also learned that if they have a concern with another team member, they can go together to speak about it with a manager.
So, if you are a leader and you see - and hear - team members acting in ways that don't go with your Mission, Vision and Values, and that could be considered toxic and unkind including gossiping, denigrating others using unkind words and/or tone of voice, not following through on what they say they are going to do, or bullying, to name a few, here's what you need to do:
Look at yourself and see if you are modeling those behaviors. If you are, stop.
Let your team know what toxic and unkind behaviors won't be tolerated in your organization, and what the consequences of exhibiting those behaviors will be!
Follow through on the consequences for those behaviors when they occur immediately.
Kind Leaders know that toxic behaviors and cultures can only exist if they, themselves, allow toxic and unkind behaviors to go without consequences. And that there is no reason to expect that their team will act in unkind ways, no matter what the situation.
Creating a kind culture and organization starts and ends with Kind Leaders!
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