You can break the Vicious Circle of Unkindness by taking action and speaking out when you feel like you are being treated unkindly.
So often, people ask me, “I’m not in a formal leadership position at my work. So, what can I do when I’m treated unkindly by a leader…or when I see others being treated unkindly by a leader?”
This question came up yesterday during both of the two sessions I did on my book The Kind Leader: A Practical Guide to Eliminating Fear, Creating Trust and Leading with Kindness.
Here is the answer:
Take action and speak up.
Use “I” statements and don’t use “you” to reference the other person at. Example: “I felt discouraged, disheartened and hurt when I heard my work referred to as shoddy and I was called lazy. Those words made me want to give up trying to meet expectations.”
When you use “I” statements, you invite people into your world, to see things from your point of view, and to practice empathy, one of the two foundational practices of kindness. Starting your sentence with “you” most often leads to the other person being defensive and thinking about protecting themself…the opposite of kindness!
Unkindness lives breeds in silence and inaction.
Whether you gave a formal leadership role or not, your actions and words influence others and can break the Vicious Circle of Unkindness.
Now, more than ever, each of us needs to know how to lead with kindness and take action against unkindness and unkind leadership. If your organization would like to learn more about specific strategies to use to instill kind leadership, please reach out and connect with me!
Learn more practical ways to respond to unkind leaders in The Kind Leader: A Practical Guide to Eliminating Fear, Creating Trust and Leading with Kindness.
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