It's Tough (And Necessary) to Practice Kindness in Unkind Times

It's hard to practice kindness when you are in fear and times are tough. That's when it's the most important to practice, though!

Day 5 of my 23 Days of Reflection on what I've learned about Kindness in my almost sixty-three years here on earth is that it's hardest AND most necessary to "practice" kindness when times are tough. Here's why.

A number of years ago I spoke at a conference in Serbia. On my way to the airport to head back home, I had an amazing conversation about practicing kindness with two taxi drivers. One of the taxi drivers was Russian and couldn't speak English well. His friend, a Serbian who had lived in a variety of countries and was now back home, translated for him from the passenger seat. Both told me of the struggles and hardships that they had endured. So many wars, so much bloodshed. What had they learned about kindness from their experiences? That when times were tough, and they were surrounded by unkindness, it was much harder to be kind to others...and...that "practicing", doing their best to figure out how to be kind, was unbelievably necessary.

Necessary because, like oxygen, we all need kindness to "breathe easy". When times are unkind, and people are mean to each other, everyone lives in fear. Fear of being harmed psychologically by the unkind things people say (bullying,, ridicule...shaming)...fear of not having what they need to survive (a job, money, housing, food and water) and fear of being physically harmed (assaulted, deported, killed).

In unkind times, fear makes us focus inward to protect ourselves. And that's the opposite of what kindness requires: Following the Platinum Rule by putting yourself in someone else's shoes. Focusing outside of yourself to create a positive outcome and impact for someone else. If you are working and/or living in fear, it's unbelievably difficult to focus on anything other than yourself.

And that's why it's most important to "practice" kindness in unkind, tough times. Like the times we are all in now.

Because the only way to reduce and eliminate fear is through kindness. Just think about it. If you didn't think someone was going to say or do something unkind to you, you would never feel fear! At work, at home, in the community and in the world.

Kindness is the antidote, and preventative, to fear.

In unkind times, even when it's a struggle to practice kindness, it's necessary. Even when it seems impossible. Even when you don't feel like you can think outside yourself because you are afraid. Taking the smallest step like smiling at someone else, giving a friend a compliment, saying "please and thank you" to the barista serving you your morning coffee, will make the person you are being kind to feel less fearful...and it will make you feel less fearful in return.

So, please remember: When times are tough, don't give up, don't give in, don't lose hope...

Simply practice kindness. As best you can.